In college I read Tom Hovestol’s book, Extreme Righteousness: Seeing Ourselves in the Pharisees. I haven’t taken time to reread it, so don’t know whether or not I’d have the exact same view today, but I found it quite helpful and convicting at the time. Hovestol argues that it is easy for us to caricature and mock the Pharisees of the Bible, seeing them as one-dimensional cartoons that bear no resemblance to ourselves. But in so doing, we lose many of the parallels between then and now. Here is one example that has stuck with me from the book:
Imagine that I, your pastor, invite you over for dinner. My wife prepares a sumptuous feast. All are summoned to the table and take their respective places. I then say, “The food’s getting cold, so dig in,” and begin chowing down. Not even one religious person would miss the fact that we didn’t pray. Immediately, probably consciously, you would wonder what is wrong with me. Am I forgetful or unspiritual? Perhaps you would make a comment or ask why we didn’t “say grace.” Even if you were too polite to comment to me about my breech of tradition you would certainly have noticed, probably will talk about it to others, and undoubtedly will have some concerns about my spirituality.
Praying before we eat is a tradition, not a command of God. Yet if we dare omit it, our spirituality will be called into question. Please do not misunderstand me. It is obviously right to regularly acknowledge the goodness and provision of God. Surely Christ set the example when He blessed the food before multiplying it (Mark 6:41). But did God anywhere tell us that we must always pray before eating? I do not think so. (By the way, I personally believe it is advisable to pray before eating. This is a good tradition that can and should be infused with meaning.) Prayer before eating is only a tradition, one that we often piously practice without meaning, giving us the sense of spirituality. (p. 108)