Thursday, July 13, 2006

"Stop Test-Driving Your Girlfriend"

Michael Lawrence, associate pastor at Capitol Hill Baptist Church, has written a must-read article for single men entitled Stop Test-Driving Your Girlfriend. It's chock full of practical biblical wisdom. I encourage you to read the whole thing.

The most common question he hears from single Christian men is: "How do I know if she's the one?" But he rightly suggests this is the wrong question. The questions instead should be:

  • Am I the sort of man a godly woman would want to marry?
  • What sort of qualities should I be looking for in a wife so that my marriage will be a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church?
Lawrence gives some good guidance with regard to how long you should date and the questions you should ask once you've begun dating:
  • Generally speaking, will you be able to serve God better together than apart?
  • Do you desire to fulfill the biblical role of a husband outlined in Ephesians 5:22-33 with this specific woman? Do you want to love her sacrificially?
  • Does this relationship spur you on in your Christian discipleship, or does it dull and distract your interest in the Lord and his people? Are you more or less eager to study God's word, and pray, and give yourself in service as a result of time spent together?
  • Do you think she will make a good discipler of your children?
  • What do other mature Christian friends and family members say about your relationship? Do they see a relationship that is spiritually solid and God-glorifying?

Again, read the whole thing.