Between Two Worlds: Christians Dating Outside the Fold

Between Two Worlds: A Mix of Theology, Philosophy, Politics, and Culture

Friday, September 14, 2007

Christians Dating Outside the Fold

13 comments | Permalink

Naomi Schaeffer Riley has an article in today's WSJ on Christians dating non-Christians.

13 Comments:

Jayson said...: This is such an interesting topic to me personally. I was saved through dating and getting engaged to a Christian woman. The relationship was sinful. I became a Christian during our long engagement and we repented together during pre-marital counseling. Thankfully, I was a Christian when we actually got married. I would never, never, never advocate this path for ANYONE any more than the apostle Paul would advocate killing Christians before becoming one.; 9/14/2007 09:53:00 AM
mimi said...: very interesting article. i'm a christian dating a non-christian, but it doesn't bother me. my christianity allows for him to be saved on his own terms. who said this life is our only opportunity to submit to jesus? my god is eternal, and my love is full of hope.; 9/14/2007 11:09:00 AM
Glennsp said...: mimi, with all due respect,
I refer you to Gods take on the subject;
2Co 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?; 9/14/2007 11:15:00 AM
David said...: Mimi,

As for you question concerning this life being the only time to repent and submit to Jesus, I also commend to you Hebrew 9:27-28:
"And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment, so Christ, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to deal with sin but to save those who are eagerly awaiting hims."

Since, presumably, you love your boyfriend, isn't that a rather callous and unloving attitude to him...hey you are fun now, but I don't care if you come to Christ or not...

David; 9/14/2007 11:51:00 AM
dan erickson said...: The question I often ask is this: If you truly love Jesus (with all your heart, soul, mind and strength), why do you want to be married to someone who does not?

An interesting article, and it is even more interesting that it showed up the WSJ!; 9/14/2007 12:23:00 PM
Patrick Chan said...: Check out Dan Phillips' article on dating, too.; 9/14/2007 01:32:00 PM
Anonymous said...: Mimi wrote..

"My Christianity..."

Well, your "Christianity" has another name: false Christianity.; 9/14/2007 04:39:00 PM
Daniel said...: JT, how do you feel, as a moderator, about comments like the anonymous one above?
I think it's entirely inappropriate (in tone and because of the anonymity). Perhaps it could be removed?

Mimi, many here (myself included) would argue that being in a 'yoked' relationship with a non-Christian is very dangerous to the vim and vigor of our own Christian faith. But that of course depends on how you define 'Christian'...

Cheers,
-Daniel-; 9/14/2007 06:46:00 PM
Brian Hamrick said...: Mimi,

In Christian love, I would encourage you to rethink what the Scriptures say- perhaps you are unaware. Hebrews (9:27 I think) tells us judgment follows this life. Please, put your current views under examination against the Word of God.

Blessings-

Brian; 9/14/2007 07:35:00 PM
jc said...: Is the author of that article related to Francis Schaeffer?; 9/15/2007 08:29:00 PM
Mathaetaes said...: When I was a teen I dated non-Christian and nominally Christian girls, but I had not been a Christian long myself and really did not understand a healthy model of Christian marriage. The problem is, like the article says, that faith influences every area of your life. If you are thus influenced, and the other person is not, it WILL lead to arguments and anger/frustration. A Christian marriage (like all Christian relationships) should be stamped with peace and unity.

Also, the issue of sex must be addressed. Most non-Christians partake of sex freely. It is part of the culture, there are few who are non-Christian conscientious abstainers. The biblical model for Marriage (O.T. and N.T.) is one man and one woman joined in one flesh together as long as life endures. This is purposeful because it models God's relationship to his chosen people. It is a covenant relationship sealed with a promise. Sex is that seal in the human aspect. That being said, a Christian should only make a covenant with their spouse. Now we do not live in a perfect world, and we Christians do fall at times, but we are to live purposeful lives for God, basing them on the models he gives us. Pagans cannot understand this because they necessarily live lives for themselves. Those "Christians" who live lives for themselves reveal themselves to be truly Pagans. We are called, instead, to submit all areas to God. Dating and marriage are not only included but maybe most important, because we are signifying God's relationship to his chosen. Will God ever divorce his people? Never! Will you divorce your spouse with which you have made a covenant? Let us pray not!

Steven Douglas; 9/16/2007 06:14:00 AM
Jack Cordial said...: Interesting. Very interesting takes on things here, folks. Personally, as a pagan (norse Pagan/Asatru) man dating a wonderful Christian woman, I can personally attest to such a relationship working out, and in fact, being strengthened for our embracing and appreciation of the other person's differences. We are both alike enough to be in agreement in/on many subjects and get along as nearly-perfectly as any two people ever have, but different enough to ensure that things shall never be boring betwen us. She knows, and accepts me as a pagan, and has no problem with our relationship, and I know and accept her Christianity and love her for, not in spite of it. Indeed, the subject of marriage has been coming up for some time, and we are both in agreement that we will be married one day. I won't lie. I realise well and fully how blessed I am to have found such a woman, so open minded and compassionate who loves me for who I am, not who I pretend to be.
Now, as per the assumption that all "Pagans cannot understand this because they necessarily live lives for themselves." this is, sine dubio, one of the more uneducated, unenlightened and erroneous outbursts, for lack of a better word, that i have ever heard. You Christians have your 10 Commandments, we Norse pagans have our Nine Noble Virtues, which, I think if you look at them, and boil them down to their basic elements, are precisely the same character traits you strive to teach everyone else, in every people all over the world, Christians included. You have your afterlives for sinners and the pure of heart, and we pagans have ours. you believe in judgement after death, as we do. If I live an impure life, do I go up to Valhalla to feast with the Allfather? No, I face eternal torture and condemnation in Nifelheim. And as for your allegations that we freely engage in sex, I am outraged. Though, to your credit, you do admit that there are exceptions, be they few and far between. Both my fiancee and I are waiting until after marriage to have sex, and indeed, I can testify to having personally spoken with my people, both Christian and non, and it shocks me the behaviour engaged in by many people who call themselves Christian, as often, it is we "pagans and non-believers" who seem to live the more moral and righteous lives.; 12/13/2007 08:28:00 AM
Julie said...: I find this to be really interesting mostly because I have entertained the thought of dating a non-Christian man recently but there is an added issue of my desire to be a minister (that would be especially weird for a pastor to be married to a non-Christian). However, Christians don't hold a monopoly on morality. This is blatantly obvious at my university where I see "Christian, spirit-filled" men being oppressive and mean to their girlfriends. Why is it that this is the pool I have to choose from? I know that spiritual connectedness would be difficult but if he loves, respects, and affirms my calling then why can't I be with him?; 4/15/2008 01:42:00 PM